The maitre d’ (pronounce may-tra-dee), or headwaiter, is the person in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly and in order at your wedding reception. The term comes from the French maitre d’hotel, or “master of the house.” Today a maitre d’ can be a man or a woman – but he or she is still a key player in “masterminding” your special day.

 I’ve been to weddings where the maitre d’ catered to the bride’s and groom’s every wish (and even thought to take care of details that they forgot). And I’ve also seen many weddings where the maitre d’ couldn’t care less about what happened, and just whiled away the hours awaiting a tip. Don’t let this happen to you! When planning your reception, be sure to spell out in detail the duties of the maitre d’ (or whoever else will be in charge).

If a facility has several headwaiters on staff, request the best, most experienced one. An alert, hard-working maitre d’ who knows the “tricks of the trade” can make the difference between service that’s smooth and efficient or sluggish and confused.